Dating 101: First Date Faux Pas
It’s 6:50 p.m. on Saturday, and Tia is putting the final touches on her look. She lightly mists her body with her favorite perfume, and goes to her full-length mirror to check out the final product. She’s ready, and waits for Justin’s arrival.
Tia is very excited about her impending date with Justin. She met Justin a week prior while picking up a book from Barnes & Noble. Justin saw Tia flipping through the pages of a book, while passing the aisle she was on. He walked back to get a second look, and thought she was very attractive. She was a tall, caramel-skinned beauty with long, natural hair. She was dressed in light skinny jeans, a red t-shirt, and Chuck Taylor’s, which he liked. She was casually cute and comfortable. He decided to go over and introduce himself. They had a relatively short conversation, but the physical attraction was there for them both. They exchanged phone numbers, and Justin immediately asked would she be interested in going on a date the following Saturday at 7p.m. She gladly accepted.
7:15 p.m. comes and Justin has not arrived. Three minutes later, he sends her a text saying that he was running a little late and would be there shortly. She replies, “Ok. No problem.” Justin finally arrives at 7:45 p.m. He then apologizes, tells her she looks beautiful, and then they’re on their way. They arrive at a movie theater to see an action film of Justin’s choice. By 10:30 p.m., they are coming out of the movie. They walk to the car and get inside. Justin compliments Tia on her appearance again, however outside of that, he just talked about himself, and didn’t seem too interested in asking about Tia’s likes, dislikes, or her life in general.
Justin takes Tia home, and asks if she would like for him to come inside. Tia declines by insisting that she wants to go straight to bed because she has to be up very early the next day. He leaves, and Tia has already decided there will not be a second date with Justin.
I wouldn’t quite call this a date from hell, however, our friend, Justin, and many others have a lot to learn about the do’s and don’ts of a first date. Let’s start with arrival time. When you ask someone on a date, it is very important that you try to put your best foot forward by being on time. Whether you decide to meet up (because creeps and Craigslist killers are real) or pick someone up, punctuality is key. Yes, things happen, however, it just isn’t a good look to show up late, especially on a first date.
The location of a first date should be somewhere that will allow the two of you to talk, and get to know one another. A movie alone for a first date is a bad idea. You’re just sitting there watching while having limited interaction, and absolutely no in-depth conversation, if any conversation at all. Noisy places like clubs or concerts aren’t the brightest ideas for a first date either. Once again, you can’t get to know anyone if you can’t hear what they are saying.
When on a first date, it is crucial to listen and show interest in learning about the person you’re out with. You should make it a point to have balance, to equally share information about yourself, as well as listening and allowing the other person to share as well. It is not all about you. If you’re that damn fascinating, then go date yourself. Otherwise, allow the conversation to reflect your interest in getting to know your date. An extension of showing interest and being attentive is to put away the phones! Nothing screams rudeness and disinterest more than constantly checking your phone.
These do’s and don’ts seem quite simple and like they would be common sense, but these mistakes are made all too often. You can’t force chemistry and every first date won’t be this magical experience/connection, however these things can be done to ensure that the basic foundations for a successful first date are in place.
N7,
Candidly 7