Distant Lovers: LDRs
It’s 7:37 p.m. on a Tuesday. My hair was blown out to perfection earlier that day, and now I was back at home. My suitcase was flung open on one side of my bed, clothes spread out on the other. I began to roll up my items and strategically placed them in the suitcase. Pacing up and down the hallway, I proceed to run through a mental checklist of everything that I needed so that I wouldn’t forget a thing. Toothbrush, check. Clothes, check. Makeup, check. Facial mask (I hope I don’t scare him too bad), but…check! “My flight leaves at 6:40 a.m. the following morning. I think I can go to bed now.” Yeah, right. Sleep evaded me that night, and anticipation and excitement took over instead. Why so anxious? Why so excited? It is the thrill that comes with reuniting with your significant other who happens to live miles and miles…and miles, away.
Long distance relationships have, for the most part, received a bad rap. People usually grunt and grumble at the thought of having one. Long distance relationships can be exciting and can definitely work. Seeing that I have experienced what a long distance relationship has to offer, I want to explore the positives and things needed for them to succeed.
As I described above, LDRs build anticipation and excitement. That feeling of knowing you’re about to spend time with someone you love that you haven’t seen in awhile can’t quite be matched. In my opinion, it keeps things between the two of you fresh and new. It somewhat mimics the honeymoon stage of dating, and that’s a good thing.
Just being away from each other can be a great thing itself. Some people, like I have before, manage to lose themselves when being in relationships where the person is in close proximity all of the time. They end up not tending to themselves and their own business affairs, as they should. The distance can allow both people more time to focus on personal growth, and being productive in their individual pursuits. The distance can also be a major plus simply because it allows you guys to miss one another and makes the time you do spend together all the more special.
The most important factor in making your long distance relationship work is trust. This is non-negotiable, and should be pre-established. Unlike the possibility of working on trust in a relationship where the two involved are physically close, with an LDR, you need to already be secure in the person you’re with. If the trust isn’t there, go ahead and let that pre-existing distance, grow between the both of you, then let it dissolve. If the trust is there, that’s half the battle.
Open communication, specified time spent with your mate, and agreeing to handle issues “face to face” will allow things to flow more smoothly. Technology is a blessing and a curse. In this case, it is your best friend. Skype and FaceTime gives you that “face to face” feel when you are unable to physically be with someone. Try to set aside some special time at whatever frequency you both agree upon to have your normal conversations, and definitely for times when there are more serious matters up for discussion. You can’t build a viable relationship through text, and, more often than not, points of view can be misconstrued that way.
See? LDRs aren’t so bad. They require trust, communication, and two people who are truly committed to making it work. Sounds familiar? I’m sure it does since these are key components to making any relationship work. Don’t focus on being so far away from each other. With long distance relationships, the only distance you should concern yourself with is distancing your mind from the negatives. Just focus on the positives that will allow you to succeed and sustain your bond.
N7,
Candidly C