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  • Writer's pictureChelsei C

Evaluating Your Support System: Is It Solid or Shaky?

You decide to break away from the monotony of the regularly scheduled programming that is your current life. You start a new venture, business or something that will be a major shift for you. When you start something new and positive, you would think that your main supporters would be family and friends, right? Wrong!

I hate to break it to you, but you are more likely to get support from complete strangers than from the people closest to you. Yes, you read it right. From my personal experience, I have received a great deal of support from people who don’t know me from a can of paint or people who only know me from a distance. In some cases, more than those I know.

Although there will be people from your camp who do support the things you do, there will be those who do not. Why is that you ask? Well, it could be a couple of reasons.

On one side, you have to realize that people are focused on themselves, and the things they have going on in their individual lives. They could be busy with work, starting a new business of their own, or even dealing with health/personal issues. You just never know. Some people may be so engrossed in their own situations that they really haven’t been paying any attention or realize that you have something going on for them to support. These people are not malicious or mean-spirited; they are just pre-occupied and/or unaware.

On the flip side it could be that they don’t like what you are doing. They could be jealous of what you are doing, and wish they could do the same. They could possibly see you as competition. One of my top favorite reasons why some of these people are not supporting you brings me to this quote. “Many times, people can’t support you publicly because of how they’ve spoken of you privately.” That one is pretty self-explanatory. Sorry, you are just not likely to get support from those who secretly do not like you.

When it comes to that set of “friends” or people who you know that are not supporting you, just know that they are, in fact, sitting back, watching and criticizing your every move. You may ask, “Why?" or "For what?” Well that’s simple. They are watching to see if you sink or swim. If you sink, they will be ranting and raving about your failure. Oh, but if you swim, they will be the main ones trying to ride your wave, acting like they have been down with you since day one, and will be telling everyone how they “know you.” Honestly, do you even want these types of people in your corner? My guess is that you answered with a resounding “No!”

When you begin to do something that you love that is worthwhile, it isn’t a time to fret about who isn’t backing you. It is the perfect time to do some spring-cleaning, if you will. This is the time you learn who your real friends are, and those who are just taking up space. Remove the latter! It is a time to make note of those genuine souls who are supporting you, and to acknowledge them. Lastly, it is also a time to become your own motivation and focus on the bigger picture.

One of the most critical things to remember is that those who are meant to take notice will do so, and support you genuinely during the growth of your new venture, business, or passion. A lot of times we tend to tune out the positive, and zero-in on the negativity coming our way. It is important to shift your focus from those who are not supporting you to those who are, and embrace that support. These are the people who matter. Let their positive acknowledgment of what you are doing, and your sheer determination to succeed serve as the fuel that motivates you to keep going.


Candidly C

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