Part 2: How Engaging With an Unhealthy Past Can Disrupt Inner Peace

It was Thursday evening at 7:45 p.m. Carissa was sitting on her bed multi-tasking, taking small bites of her dinner in between typing up her report for Friday morning’s staff meeting. Bzzzt! She looked over at her phone lying on her black nightstand. It was Thomas, the guy she hit it off with at a banquet a few weeks prior. Since that event, they have had numerous conversations over the phone and exchanged text messages daily.

“Hey beautiful. How’s it going?” Carissa replied, “It’s going. I’m still trying to finish up a report for work tomorrow. How are you?”

“I’m great. I would be even better if you would let me take you on that date, though.” She replied, “In due time, I promise. I’m not all the way ready, and I want to put my best foot forward, you know?”

Thomas replied, “I understand. Just know that you’re worth the wait.” Carissa replied with heart eyes, and Thomas did as well. He said, “Let me let you get back to your report, lil lady. I’ll give you a pep talk in the morning. Not like you need it, you got this!” She had a big smile on her face, and continued to finish up her report.

The next morning Carissa brought in her report, explained her findings to the staff, and was commended on a job well done. She finished out her Friday with a run in the park, and took herself to dinner. Even though, Thomas would have loved to have taken her out, Carissa was enjoying this time to herself. She had finally restored her inner peace. It was much needed after her tumultuous relationship with Jerry. Besides, someone showing as much promise as Thomas didn’t deserve residual junk to be carried over from her not being fully healed.

Carissa spent the rest of the weekend with family, and preparing for the following workweek. She went to bed Saturday night feeling great. Upon waking up for church Sunday morning, she received an unwelcome, lengthy email from Jerry.

Given the fact that Jerry was known to lie to get whatever result he was looking for out of someone, manipulate her, and use women then discard them until he was ready to recycle them again; she knew whatever he had to say wasn’t even remotely genuine nor productive.

Carissa was right. Here he was again trying to invite her to his everlasting pity party after all of the trouble he brought upon himself and her. He talked about being so sad, how he didn’t understand how two people who were so perfect for each other caused each other so much harm, and how much it sucked. He then told her he was proud of her for being able to move on with her life and for not letting anything deter her.

She thought to herself, “The nerve of him! He’s proud of me for being able to move on with my life? What else would I do? Proud of me for not letting anything deter me? You mean not letting YOU deter me, sir.”

Clearly, Jerry could sense that she was really moving on, and just wanted to kill her vibe and muck up her space. She decided to ignore him.

Monday morning arrived, and Carissa was feeling like what was now her new normal. She felt wonderful! She had spoken to Thomas before work, and was ready to tackle the day. Then came more unsolicited revelations. She was in the middle of work when her phone, which was on silent, lit up with a new text message. It was an acquaintance, Tila, telling her she saw Jerry, the prior day, out with his ex. Carissa politely told Tila that she didn’t need to be informed of Jerry’s whereabouts or whom he was with.

Carissa’s whole mood changed, not because she was mad about Jerry dating his ex, but because he had the audacity to reach out to her, just a few hours prior, with his sob story about being so sad about the situation he had with Carissa. He couldn’t be too sad gallivanting around town with his ex. She saw red and deviated from ignoring Jerry, told him where to go, and to not contact her again…ever.

Carissa allowed old junk to meddle with her vibe for a bit, but I’m quite sure it didn’t knock her off of her game. There are things that we do that threaten our inner peace, and the one that got Carissa was engaging with a toxic past. We cannot control other people, but we can control how we respond, and Carissa should have paid him dust!

Do not give any energy to pop-ups from the past, especially those who used, abused, and mistreated you. These types of people seem to get some special notification that you’re in a better place and doing well, and they’re like “Upt! Let me go see if I can get back on their radar and knock them off of their game.” Don’t allow it because they will attempt to zap you of your joy, and try to ruffle your feathers. Misery loves company; and you have no desire to revert or regress, so the best thing to do is to ignore their lackluster attempts to disrupt your inner peace.

When we reach a point where we are feeling great about ourselves, making positive moves in our lives, and new uplifting people are trickling in; we cannot afford to let anyone or anything destroy this inexplicable, euphoric feeling that we have. Joy and inner peace are priceless and a luxury we should continuously fight to keep!

N7,

Candidly C

#life #lifelessons #dating #relationships #innerpeace #joy #pastrelationships #moveforward