Rebounding: Playing the Love Game
Lena sat in her corner office drinking her routine, morning coffee. As she began checking her emails, she got a text from her best friend, Mallory.
“Morning boo! Are we still on for happy hour after work?”
“Good morning! And yes ma’am, we are!” Lena replied.
Mallory texted, “Cool, see you at 5:30!”
Lena, “K. Ttyl!”
The workday went by quickly and smoothly. Lena locked her office, headed to the parking garage, and hopped in her car to meet Mallory at their favorite happy hour spot. Lena arrived and saw that Mallory was already seated in a booth. Lena sat down and scooted in. They ordered their usual cocktails, and talked their heads off about any and everything they had going on in their lives. Lena then said, “I’m gonna run to the restroom. I’ll be right back.”
Upon Lena’s return, Mallory was looking at her phone with a disgusted look on her face.
“Hey Mal, what’s the matter?”
“Girl, you won’t believe THIS!” Mallory said as she turned her phone to face Lena.
Lena looked at the phone, and gave Mal the “Why you always lying” face, and then fell out laughing. It was a picture of her ex, Paul, and a lady she had seen before captioned "#WCE #ATrueQueen." Mind you, Lena and Paul had broken up about a month prior.
Lena told Mallory, “I asked him about that lady before. He said I was tripping and that she wasn’t even his type. That’s nothing more than a clown performing. Moving on.”
They both laughed and continued their drinks and conversation.
Meanwhile across town, Paul was hooping with Jim, James, and Tyrone. After they finished, they sat around talking for a bit.
Jim said, “Hey man, I saw the pic of you an ole girl? Is that new bae?”
Paul replied, “Yeah, I’m working on it.”
Tyrone chimed in, “What’s her name again? Laura?”
Paul replied, “Dora.”
James said, “Oh ok. So no more Lena, then?”
Paul looked over and said, “Nah, she wasn’t it.”
James said, “Aight. Long as you’re happy, man.”
Paul replied, “Yep, I am. Aye, I gotta go. I’ll catch y’all later.”
Paul left, and the other guys stayed back for a bit.
James then said, “Y’all know good and damn well he ain’t over Lena.”
“At all!” Jim and Tyrone said in unison, laughing while they headed out of the gym.
Paul wasn’t completely honest with his friends, but they weren’t buying his act anyway. Deep down, he was secretly hoping that the picture would get around to Lena. He wanted it to move her to inquire about it so he could plead his case, and try to patch things up. Dora was cool and a welcome addition to his life for the simple fact that she showed a lot of interest in him and served as a distraction.
Dating someone in order to make an ex jealous is always a bad idea, and yields poor results every single time. This is, first and foremost, because malicious intentions will always find a way to come back and bite you. It may not be immediate, but you definitely have something not so pretty coming your way. If you’re trying to make your ex jealous, so they will come back to you, it will 10 times out of 10 fail because either A. They don’t care or B. If they were thinking about taking you back, your plan of “dating someone to make them jealous” will probably backfire, and put the final nail in the coffin of your dead relationship.
Forcing chemistry is one of the worst rebound moves ever! Some will falsely reciprocate feelings of interest, and will stomach yet another bland “appetizers and drinks” date, movie date, or live music/club date with someone just to quell loneliness. You’re only fooling yourself…and sadly, maybe even the other party who may actually be forming feelings for you. All in all, dating on the rebound is a dangerous game. It would be wise to find healthier ways to combat your loneliness. Take up a new hobby, take a trip, find out more about yourself, or set bigger and better goals. These things promote a better you, and places you in the right headspace for something to spark genuinely and naturally.
N7,
Candidly C