You is Selfish, You is Inconsiderate, You Should Be Single!
Whether it was a first hand experience of being cheated on, you doing the cheating, or hearing an unfortunate tale of it happening to a friend, I think it is safe to say that we are all familiar with infidelity. The lack of character and moral fortitude is at an all time high. Most will say, “Everyone’s entitled to mistakes.” Yeah, ok, agreed. However, this new generation of cheaters don’t even see it as a mistake! “If she catch me cheating, I will never tell her sorry.” Words so eloquently stated by Future in the perfectly titled track, “Low Life,” speaks to the sad reality of how much value and respect (or lack thereof) many have for relationships today. There used to be a time where people would get caught cheating, and would have some sense of shame and remorse about themselves. Now, a cheater is more likely to try to shame you for catching them, instead of admitting fault and expressing regret.
Why is cheating still a thing? Wouldn’t it be easier to opt out of relationships that are leaving you thirsty for intimacy, instead of stepping out on your mate? Of course it would be, but that sounds too much like right. Since there are lots of people out here taking the not so idyllic approach and cheating, let’s explore a few reasons why people cheat.
Do you remember the movie, “The Best Man?” Well if you recall, Lance spent years cheating on sweet, “innocent” Mia with random women. In turn, she slept with his best friend, Harper. It was wrong, but geez, talk about evening the score! There are two routes women take when they cheat out of spite. In the case of “The Best Man” example, Mia wasn’t interested in Lance ever finding out. In my opinion, she did it because she was emotionally exhausted from his constant cheating, and wanted to secretly avenge these wrongs for her own sanity, since she was choosing to stay with him. The other, more popular, route of women cheating out of spite is when it is done so that he will find out. In this case, these women are both enraged and hurt, and want him to feel the pain that he inflicted on her.
One other major reason that some women claim to cheat is the lack of intimacy and emotional presence in their relationships. Some women say that they cheat to fill the void of a need that isn’t being met within their relationships, such as a lack of attention, not feeling wanted or desired anymore.
A lack of appreciation has been an ongoing excuse for cheating in men. Some men claim to cheat because they feel that their efforts are going unnoticed. Insecurity is another reason why men cheat. They always feel like they are deficient in some area and it is a means to overcompensate for that lack. They constantly look for validation from others through flirtation and cheating to feel better about themselves.
Have you ever met someone that never seemed satisfied? You know, that person who you could give them the best of the best of whatever, and they still would not be content? Well this brings me to another reason why men cheat. Many of them are just greedy as hell, and wouldn’t be satisfied even if they had Halle Berry. *Cough* Eric Benet *cough* Some men have no intentions of being monogamous. They get in relationships in hopes of working around the system, instead of truly embracing monogamy and honoring the commitment.
No matter the motive for cheating, the reasons why many don’t feel shame or regret, boils down to selfishness and ego. Those who have felt no qualms about cheating on their significant others have said things like “It’s what I wanted to do at the time, so it is what it is” or “When I took the risk and stepped out, the thrill increased with every new encounter.” At the end of the day, it just isn’t worth it. Infidelity can have a lasting, negative affect on a person. I know many will continue down the path of destruction, but the logical, considerate, and ETHICAL thing to do would be to just move around and get your needs and “thrills” met without hurting someone else in the process.
N7,
Candidly C